Aftermath
by stemilytrash
Summary: He tells himself over and over that he made the right decision, that if he hadn't gotten up and driven the limo away they'd both be dead. At least now that they're far away from Darhk's minions, there's a chance that she'll survive. - Post 4x09


**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I don't own Arrow or any of the characters, they all belong to the CW DC.

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 **A/N:** All mistakes are mine and mine alone.

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 **Aftermath**

She lies in his arms, bleeding. He tries to apply pressure, but there are too many bullet wounds and it's impossible to stop the bleeding. He does what he can while he holds her. If she dies out here tonight, then she's going to die in the comfort of his arms and not on the cold hard street. He keeps repeating her name, asking her to hold on, to stay with him. Tells her that help is coming, but there's no one around to call for help. He starts shouting, begging for someone to come and help him save her, but the street is empty.

He tells himself over and over that he made the right decision, that if he hadn't gotten up and driven the limo away they'd both be dead. At least now that they're far away from Darhk's minions, there's a chance that she'll survive if he can get her to the hospital on time.

He picks her up carefully and puts her in the limo's passenger seat, he needs her to be close to him where he can make sure she's still breathing, still alive, and drives her to the hospital as fast as he can.

He gets her to the hospital in record time and carries her into the ER. When they see him, they take her away from him. He doesn't want to let go, but he knows he has to. He follows them; he wants to, no, needs to stay by her side. He's holding her hand, telling her that she'll be ok now, that the doctors will take care of her.

They don't let him anywhere near her while they treat her so he stands outside and watches helplessly from the glass window. He watches as she flatlines, watches as they try to revive her, shocking her over and over again while they pump her with drugs, and just as they're about to give up her heart starts beating again and he can finally breathe. Then he watches them as they rush her off to surgery.

He waits for hours, pacing impatiently up and down the hall waiting for news about how she's doing while Donna, Thea and Diggle are sitting in the chairs waiting, like him, for an update.

A Doctor finally walks towards them and Oliver meets him halfway, the others get up and follow behind him, Donna is at his side in seconds. "Mr. Queen..." the doctor starts to say.

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Oliver wakes up with a start. It's the same nightmare he's had every night since the incident. The events of that fateful evening six months earlier still haunt him to this day. He sits up in bed and looks at the empty space beside him and the memories flood back, like they do every night. She should be here, this is where she belongs.

He stumbles out of bed and puts on a shirt and a pair of pants. He tries to be as quiet as he can but Thea is already awake and out of her room. After the events of that night, Thea moved back into the loft because she didn't want him going through this alone. "Ollie, where are you going?" she asks, even though she knows the answer. She tries again, "Ollie, you can't keep doing this to yourself, you can't keep going to see her every night. She wouldn't want you to…" But Oliver leaves before she can finish the sentence. He doesn't say a word.

He gets on his motorbike and rides off into the cool night, heading to the only place he finds comfort in these days. He knows that Thea is right, that Felicity wouldn't want him here but he needs to be with her. He needs to talk to her even though he knows she can't hear him and never will, but he hopes she does hear him. This is where he feels at home now. The loft is a painful reminder of the happy times they'd shared together, this is his reality.

He walks over to where she's resting and sits down beside her. He breaks down and starts to cry. He repeats the same words he says to her every night when he visits. He tells her again how much he loves and misses her. He tells her that he would do anything to have her back by his side if he could. He tells her that he can't go on another day without her. He apologizes again and again because what happened to her was his fault. He started this war thinking he could protect her from Darhk and his ghosts, even though she insisted that she didn't need protecting. He should have been able to protect her. His tears don't stop falling.

He leans over and rests his head on the gravestone. It doesn't take long before he falls asleep, beside her.

 _Fin_


End file.
